I don't know who these people are, but I like that finger....
Are you going to take me home with you??
I kinda like being in this fella's arms...
Still in Daddy's arms a year later!!
Mommy always show me how to do things!!!Thank you God for bringing my Mommy and Daddy over to bring me home!
Looking Back
I have been thinking about this blog for a month now. This very one and as I start, tears begin to puddle in my eyes… in some ways I am a little fire cracker and in some ways I am a big ole baby. Matter of fact, I have written this blog fifty different ways in my head throughout the month. On Friday, Judson and I had an anniversary - we became a mommy and daddy for a grand total of a year. No Ricky’s birthday is not in March but the first time we laid eyes on our wonderful little boy was one year ago yesterday. I have had so many emotions this month. Our journey to Ricky was so long and rocky. It lasted seven years! Ricky is not our first child - yes he is the first child I have ever held in my arms or heard call me mommy but we lost two children before Ricky. Our first child’s birthday would have been in March and we found out we were pregnant through IVF with our second child in March. I do not think it is by mistake that we met our son in March. I remember the day so very clearly - I remember the drive to the baby house, the walk up the stairs and down the hallway and oh, the smell. Judson and I were told to wait in this room - it seemed like an eternity. My heart raced, my feet tapped and all my senses seemed to be on overdrive, amazingly enough being sleep deprived from our travels. Then there he was - the child that Judson and I had prayed for, longed for, cried for, fought for, loved beyond understanding and almost died for was right there for us to touch. I was almost scared to touch him for fear that it was all a dream. Was he really there - our son? Our chosen child, the child made in our hearts and dreams. The child that God himself searched this entire earth over and selected for us. The child God kept safe tucked in His arms of love until we arrived home with him. Was I really holding my baby boy? Then I looked and Judson and I saw all the emotions that I felt on his face. He was a daddy at that very moment - not an uncle anymore but a daddy. I sometimes wonder if the look Judson has for Ricky is the same look God has for us. If so His children are so very loved. I knew right then that Judson Bell would meet death before he would let any harm come to our little one.
Our journey was long and hard. God had far more confidence in my ability than I ever would have, but then again, I am not a one women show! I cried, I screamed, I even raged against the winds that seemed to crash down around me on a daily basis but God never gave up on me because he had a far greater plan for our family. He wanted college sweethearts to grown in love for each other and Him. Judson and I could not have walked that road without the love and support of our family, friends and our church Pinedale Christian Church. All I had to give God during our journey was my faith the size of a mustard seed and I let him do the rest. There were many times when my mustard seed faith was put to the test but God always seemed to do what He does best and that is BE GOD!
Ricky is amazing! The bonding was not instant for him like it was for us but today there is no happier, healthier little boy. When I walk in the room he says mama and my heart melts. When I am rocking him to sleep he will grab my cheek and give me a kiss and I know that I would kill for this precious treasure God has given me. He looks at his daddy and takes a running leap for him without any fear in the world because he feels safe and secure in the arms of his daddy. I think God had a reason for Judson to be the first man for Ricky to meet and that is because Ricky will always have just one Daddy! Judson, thank you for being the husband and daddy you are to your family!
One final thought- For any of you that are going though challenges in life right now (which includes me), be like the farmer that asked God for rain and then prepared his fields because he knew God would send the rain.
Hope you had a great weekend!
6 comments:
You know, I was thinking about you guys last week. That was beautifully written and an amazing testament to your faith and Gods love for us. We have all been through so much and it miraculous that we are home loving our children and all that garbage (AGCI) is behind us. I am so very much looking forward to seeing you on FRIDAY!!! Woooo Whooo!!
Hi Judson, Kristi and Ricky. We came across a link to your BLOG and had to post. We too are adoptive parents. Our son Orin is from Karakastek BH and came home to Canada in June 2006. Your post is so touching. It really struck a cord with me, I think it is that we are coming upto our second anniversary from when we Orin (April 13th) and his 3rd birthday (April 10th) these important dates always bring home to me how blessed we are. Like so many other waiting families and families completed through adoption we for many days and for many months and in fact years struggled through infertility and the second trimester loss of our dear son Ronan ........through those dark days it was so hard not to feel despair and lack of hope.....to be honest there were so many times when we thought we would feel HAPPY, content or complete again......little did we know that the man above had a plan for us to travel to Kazakhstan to meet our Orin......
Now our family is complete, we will never forget our angel babies (we also had a first trimester miscarriage prior to our daughter Ashling being born) I look at our son Orin and the love he brings us and how right he is in our family.......... I love that expression, all children come from God, some just have a longer journey home.
The Keogh's
PS Congrats on your anniversary of meeting Ricky.
Okay I am really crying right now. I really have tears running down my face. I remember that look he had for his mommy and daddy! I am so glad that God had different plans for you too! If not we would hae never met you guys!! We love you botha and are so glad that God loves us all enough to trust us with his children!! Thanks for giving me a good cry!! 4 more days
Kristi, you've got me in a puddle-ly mess! Thinking back to the time you FINALLY left to get your son, that was such an amazing time for God to reveal how in control He really is. Then with each passing day, we would all long to get that email update, perhaps even a few pictures. You are such a blessing to me. Your testimony of who God is, and how loving He is just makes me want to praise Him all the more.
Happy Baby Day Anniversary!
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